The neurological case for face-to-face meetings

I never quite understood when told that only 20% of our communication is words, the rest is body language.

Then I picked up ‘Social Intelligence’ by Daniel Goleman, thinking that maybe this was my problem. Now I understand.

Based on research in social neuroscience, Goleman explains what it really means when someone has charisma or autism or is just liked by everybody, how a group of people may turn into a lynching mob in a matter of seconds, how excellent speakers spellbind their audience and why actors make such excellent speaker coaches.

Most of the body language is subconscious, we don’t even know it is happening, the socalled ‘mirror neurons’ in our brain pick up an incredible array of signals, from tone of voice to the slightest re-configuration of nearly 200 facial muscles.

And it is not just a matter of observing the other person, if our brains are attuned we physically feel the emotions of the other person, like the contagious smile or laughter.

Our ability to empathize with others depends on a number of factors demonstrated by neurological science, like light, colour, sound, food, drink, smell and temperature, but these are perhaps subjects of other books, I don’t know as I am not half way through Goleman’s yet.

The implications for how we design interactive environments are obvious and huge. But what has become even more clear to me is how the virtual relationship does not come anywhere near the quality of face-to face interaction. It becomes meaningless to think of virtual relationships taking the place of physical interaction, they are two completely different forms of exchange, supplementing rather than replacing each other.

I think all this is fascinating, you should read the book yourself, it is the kind of book you can’t read without a yellow marker at hand.

Finally an uplifting message, our brain is hard wired for empathy and kindness, don’t believe what the papers write.

And imagine, this was only 20% of my message, without the body language....

Best

Elling